Settling makes you incompetent

As I sat at my cyber next to a rather frustrated mother who had come to make copies of a borrowed exercise book for her daughter, I couldn’t help but overhear the situation unfolding. The daughter had apparently lost her notes or forgotten them—or maybe it was some other elusive teenager logic that only teenagers understand. The mother, however, was not buying it and was in full scold mode. I sat there thinking, “She’s just a kid!” Yet despite the telling-off, the daughter seemed oddly relieved. Why? Because she was sitting her final exams soon, and at least now, she had her notes—borrowed or not.

This whole scene got me thinking about my own experiences as the parents-teachers representative at my children’s school. Oh, the complaints I’ve heard! Teachers, parents, everyone seemed to think I was the hotline for every problem under the sun. The phone would ring, and I’d pick up only to hear another frustrated parent or teacher on the other end, listing out their grievances about the school. And every time, I’d calmly say, “Please put it in writing.” And guess what? No letters. Not a single one. I waited and waited, thinking surely someone would write. After all, they were very vocal over the phone. But nope.

It turns out, the rumor going around was that the local school board chair was “too tough to meet with.” And here I was, completely oblivious, thinking everything was under control. It dawned on me that maybe, just maybe, I needed to take a look at myself. Was I somehow intimidating too? Was I not as approachable as I thought? Had I, without realizing it, become part of the problem? That’s when I realized: if I wanted others to be accountable, maybe I should start by looking at my own potential incompetencies.

Then, as if the universe was just waiting for me to have that epiphany, it threw me a test the very next morning. I received a school fees receipt that had been incorrectly keyed in. Now, in the past, I would’ve shrugged it off with a “What’s the big deal?” attitude. But now that I’ve started holding myself accountable, I couldn’t just let it go. I had to face the fact that I, too, had been guilty of allowing incompetence to slide—both in others and in myself. I had been so focused on being merciful and forgiving that I’d forgotten about being objective and thorough, especially in areas where people depended on accuracy.

It hit me like a ton of bricks. I had let my own “nice guy” approach become a breeding ground for incompetence. People knew I wasn’t going to make a fuss about mistakes, so they didn’t feel the need to be meticulous either. I wasn’t holding anyone, least of all myself, to a higher standard. And that had to change.

But this wasn’t my first wake-up call. I remembered a time when a teacher came to me, stepping down from her role as a leader for the lower classes because she felt intimidated by another teacher. My response? I told her to pray about it and not to fight. Seems harmless, right? Except, well, faith without action is dead, as they say. What was I thinking? This was a situation that required action, not just a “thoughts and prayers” response.

And then there was the time another teacher came to me in tears, complaining that she was teaching while prayers were going on. Meanwhile, someone else was upset because she got injured—wait for it—due to not praying. Yes, you read that right. This was a whole new level of confusion. Clearly, we needed more than prayer. We needed some good, old-fashioned objectivity and common sense.

Being more objective has not only improved the way I handle these kinds of issues but also made me a more trustworthy person. People now know that if I say I’ll handle something, I mean it. There’s no more of that half-hearted “Oh, let’s just pray about it” while sweeping the real issue under the rug. I’ve learned that sometimes, you have to tackle problems head-on, with accountability and action, not just kind words and empathy.

So, here’s my question for you: Are you struggling in certain areas because of a weakness you haven’t yet identified? It’s easy to look at others and think, “Well, that’s their incompetence,” but how often do we pause to consider our own? I realized that I had been allowing incompetence to creep into my work by being too lenient, too forgiving, and too afraid of confrontation. But once I identified that weakness, things started to change. I became more reliable, more consistent, and more respected for my competence.

In fact, I’ve even started receiving calls from clients—people who were referred to me specifically because of my competence in IT. That’s right, the same guy who used to let things slide is now known for getting things done right. And all it took was a little self-reflection and a willingness to confront my own shortcomings.

So, if you’re finding yourself frustrated with the incompetence around you, take a moment and ask yourself: is there a weakness I’ve been overlooking? You might be surprised at how much smoother life gets when you start holding yourself accountable.